Almost nothing will put the fear of god into you like the police. Police with attack dogs. The canine unit. The woof. The gnashing incisors that will wring your neck out dry before you’ve even had your Miranda Rights. Breakfast. Treat. An eviscerated trachea. Good boy.
It was at this moment – buried underneath my tomb of damp foliage, trapped in the obsidian midnight between Sparky, Spot, and my incriminating company of mouth-breathers – that I found god.
At age 16 I was ready to tell him all my sins.
Continue reading “Confessions: On Religion”
Starting in January of 2018, restaurant workers who rely on tips – e.g. servers, bartenders, hosts, and bussers – will be able to pay for day-to-day expenses using the compliments they receive for their service in lieu of actual money.
Continue reading “Restaurant workers legally allowed to pay for rent and groceries with compliments”
A burst of microaggressions shattered what would regularly be an uneventful night at the Masquerade Bar in Capitol Hill last Friday, and ended in what Monterey Sheriff Adam Brody is calling “a miracle.”
Continue reading “Zero fatalities and 14 offended in microaggresion “miracle” standoff with local police”
I believe my child is invincible. There is someone up there watching over him.
Continue reading “Invincible”
Even now, years later, I still lose sleep over the greatest magic trick I’ve ever seen. Of the nearly 500 acts I’ve watched and dispelled in Hocus Pocus Focus, a twelve-part (and counting) anthology of how magicians have continued to fool us, it is the only one to elude me, the only truth that must somehow be a lie.
Continue reading “Blink”